Nov04
Have You Ever Lied About Anything in Your Profile?
Have you ever lied about anything in your profile?
I have. I’m really 5′9″, not 5′10″…
Adding an inch or two to their height seems to be a common lie among men.
Among women, subtracting a few years from their age is common.
What were your dates reactions when they found out you lied?
Are there ever circumstances when it’s okay to lie? Find out my thoughts in my new CD set http://www.findingtheoneonline.com/blog
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Read More...
- What Percentage of Your Online Dates Lied About Their Age, Height, Weight or Photo?
- The Closeted Rabbi
- What Was the Worst Line You’ve Ever Read in an Online Dating Profile?
- Seriously, How Old is Your Primary Photo on Your Dating Profile?
- What Percent of People are Open to Dating Someone with Your Age, Height, Weight, Education, Income, and Geographic Location?
Slim Pickens Nov 4th 2008 at 07:16 am 1
Ha, I did the exact same thing. 5-10 instead of 5-9. But actually I am more like 5-9 3/4 so it’s a pretty small lie. I seem to be looking down at an awful lot of other guys who claim they are 5-9 and they’re not even close. I hear the “you seem taller” when I say I’m 5-9 too, which is no doubt partly due to all those midgets adding 2,3,4 inches to their own height.
That’s about it though, everything else I write in my profile and email messages is absolutely true. I would not tolerate anyone lying to me, not about anything major, so why would I do it to them? And when it comes to a physical attribute you will know instantly that you have a liar on your hands, so what’s the point?
Geek's Dream Girl Nov 4th 2008 at 07:40 am 2
I’ve always put “About Average” for my body type, even though I’ve always been more “Curvy”. But to be fair, I included pictures that showed my body type, so I was only deceiving the search engine.
Honey Nov 4th 2008 at 08:03 am 3
I would probably lie about my weight but fortunately they don’t make you list that! My BF listed himself at 5′8″ when he says he’s 5′7″, but I think he’s STILL lying over 2 years later…he’s 5′6″ IMHO!
Honey Nov 4th 2008 at 08:04 am 4
I would always post a recent pic (as far as the weight thing), I just wouldn’t want to put the number down
Karl R Nov 4th 2008 at 08:18 am 5
I’ve never lied. I have omitted information.
For example, I live in a city where most people own cars. I choose not to. I don’t include that information in my profile.
I realize that some people consider that to be deceptive. In my opinion, I can’t include every piece of information about myself (nor would I, even if I could). A woman can learn that information after she spends a date or two getting to know me.
Jimmy E Nov 4th 2008 at 09:43 am 6
I lived with my parents for about 6 months in my mid 20s. I said that I was living with roommates, which was sort of true.
happy girl Nov 4th 2008 at 12:27 pm 7
Yes, only about my age…I was adamant not to do that , but I did take off a few years. Do I feel good about doing that Not really, but if you have men in their late 50’s and even 60’s contacting you!!!.
xpuff Nov 4th 2008 at 01:27 pm 8
Gah, all you liars about height have been the bane of my existence!!!! Well, until I learned that 5′10″ on a dating site almost always means 5′8″ and adjusted my expectations accordingly and looked with suspicion on anyone stating they were 5′9″-6′0″.
I’ve never lied about anything. I always got comments about how similar to my profile pics I looked and always got asked out a second time so I was fairly confident that I was representing myself fairly and accurately.
A-L Nov 4th 2008 at 01:32 pm 9
I’ve never lied. The part that I’ve felt questionable about is checking the box for “average” body. I wear a size 8-10, so technically I am average. But if I was talking with my friends I’d probably say I was overweight, or at least needed to lose a few pounds.
JuJu Nov 4th 2008 at 01:44 pm 10
JimmyE, I lived with my parents for a year and a half after leaving my husband - is that something to be embarrassed about?? Wouldn’t even occur to me to hide the fact, but then, I don’t see how this information is relevant to my _current_ profile anyway.
Nah, I never lied. I don’t think that complete strangers are entitled to all sorts of information about me, on the other hand, so I am not likely to talk about past relationships, or money, or other such private things in my ad (can’t agree with age and height fields, however, as some other people have mentioned).
Carol Nov 4th 2008 at 02:47 pm 11
I have fudged about my age a couple of years a few times, but after trying it I have to admit it’s too much trouble to keep everything straight. I did see a bigger range of options when I made myself 3 years younger but eventually I realized that if someone can’t handle my age as it is, he’s probably not my guy.
moonsical Nov 4th 2008 at 04:14 pm 12
If anything I might mention the better description of my present title, “Culinary Associate,” rather than say, “Pizza Lady at a Residence Hall.” Career path and job longevity/stability historically has been a bit of a trial for me. I’m definitely not driven or decisive in that area, so that is where my shame lies!
moon
Jennifer Nov 4th 2008 at 04:34 pm 13
I’ve never lied about anything on my profile.
@Karl- I think it would be odd if someone mentioned that they didn’t have a carin their profile, so I don’t even see that as a lie of omission. I think leaving out that information is perfectly normal and not at all deceptive
@A-L- sixe 8 is actually smaller than average in the U.S., so you’re not lying either
lisaq Nov 4th 2008 at 04:44 pm 14
Nope. Never, ever. It frustrates me to meet someone only to find out that they lied. I don’t want to be the person that puts someone else in that position.
Jane Nov 4th 2008 at 05:11 pm 15
Number one, honesty is important to me so how could I lie without adding a double standard as an additional transgression.
Secondly, why create disappointment at the onset of a relationship–or wreck the possibility of one because you weren’t accurate?
For a lot of people, there is no third.
Gail Nov 4th 2008 at 05:58 pm 16
I haven’t lied on my profile but the last guy I dated sure did! He said he was “caucasian” but was really a mixed race(obviously not too proud of that fact). Said he was 5′6″ and in fact was more like 5′4” Indicated he had been separated 6 yrs. Actually his wife lived down the street from him and he and his wife and “friends” had dinner every Friday night. I was invited to his house for dinner and the final straw was the WEDDING picture on display. There can be lots of deceit behind some peoples profiles and one can’t be too careful. Height etc is one thing but married is another.
JuJu Nov 4th 2008 at 07:55 pm 17
This one happened to a friend - in the “family” field the man said “would like to start one”, whereas in reality he already had two children from a previous marriage. She broke it off with him over that.
Sara Nov 4th 2008 at 09:24 pm 18
Good question!!! Nothing comes to mind, but I know for a fact that I exaggerated my interest in “being active.” Nobody wants a lazy bum!
Cilla Nov 5th 2008 at 10:38 am 19
I took a year off my age, because I realized I was being excluded from a lot of searches that used 5-year increments as a cut-off. (I was 46, but a number of men stopped looking at women over 45.)
I always confessed to men in our first conversations that I had done that, and no one seemed to care. In fact, most men told me I looked significantly younger than my age anyway.
Now if I am interested in a man and think I won’t show up in his search criteria because of age, I contact him first or put him my favorites to let him know I’m attracted. If he’s interested back, he’ll get in touch.
Rachelle Nov 5th 2008 at 03:08 pm 20
I’ve never lied about anything. Body type, age, height…
I’m 36 and I do notice that alot of guys cut off at 35. With that said, I have been contacted by guys whose prefered age range was up to 30. I just assume they perhaps got tired of seeing the same faces and do a broader search…
I have run into a lot of men who fudge about their height!
I’m 5′8″. I like to wear at least 2 inch heels. I will catch you in a lie everytime!
hunter Nov 5th 2008 at 10:00 pm 21
Lie after lie, after lie,,,,hhhmmmhh…its not really a lie, isn’t it more like, diplomacy, tactfulness, maybe,…just a little tinsy, tiny, manipulative……
change Nov 6th 2008 at 03:09 pm 22
I’m about 5′10 so I don’t have to worry about lying about height. But my license says 5′9 but that might be because I got it at 16 and never bothered to change it. Maybe I’m actually 5′9 1/2 but I think if you wear shoes you can seem taller like Doc Martins. George Costanza on seinfeld wore Timberlands to appear taller to women! But with internet dating, I think there are obviously more single shorter guys out there who use online dating and its probably true that more curvy women use online dating than not.
mic Nov 6th 2008 at 09:28 pm 23
In online dating, many men lie about their height. That’s been studied.
“I think there are obviously more single shorter guys out there who use online dating and its probably true that more curvy women use online dating than not.”
Probably so, and the general physical attractiveness of online daters probably is lower than that of the relationship-seeking population in general. Online dating sites are going to need to better address that and the lying. Instead of running ads that falsely imply that online dating is a sea of beauties
JuJu Nov 9th 2008 at 01:01 am 24
mic,
can’t say I understand what exactly you are proposing the dating sites do. Besides, do you hold, say, beer commercials to the same standard?
This reminds me of a JDate ad I once saw in Times Square, which in my opinion was totally unsuccessful. It showed a couple in an embrace - an attractive woman in her upper 20’s-lower 30’s and an unattractive man about 15 years her senior. Let’s just say, based on THAT ad, I’d never be inclined to go on the site. I can see how the woman in the poster could entice a lot of men to try it out, but if that man is a realistic representation of what they can offer, I’d rather take my chances elsewhere.
The InBetweener Nov 9th 2008 at 02:15 pm 25
As far as LIES go, I guess a lie would be any UNTRUTH?
Let’s see, I’ve omitted my first name and just used my middle name.
I’ve said I was currently AT work, when I really just happened to be working from home that day.
I said I was born in Lebanon. I was actually. Just not the country.
I’m 5′5 3/4 bare footed but I never put that in my profile. I usually just put down 5′5-5′6. Mainly because, when you first meet someone in person, it’s almost never barefooted.
Those are my “untruths”. The thing I never understood with people that lie online is, how can someone lie about something that will be visible upon sight?
raindrop Dec 23rd 2008 at 04:40 pm 26
i liked about my first name, used a new fake name to people i met 4 years ago, and we r in touch until now, i know it sounds evil but its the truth ive recently confessed and told him my real name only cuz we r getting serious realtionship meeting for marriage, where as before we were goood friends
but ill never ever do it again made me feel sooo guilty ashamed devasted and hated my entire life for my bad doings
i never lied about my age hight weight religion anything else just my name
Seductress Within Dec 23rd 2008 at 06:15 pm 27
No never lied. I wouldn’t be very trusting of my date if he did.
Most men that I’ve met from an online dating site say “wow, you look exactly like your picture. That almost never happens. I’m always a little nervous to see how different she’ll be.”
I don’t know how many men lie, but women must do it regularly if the majority of the men I’ve met seem surprised to meet me and “everything checks out”.
What is up with that? Why would anyone want to start what could be a relationship with lies or misrepresentations, however small?
hunter Dec 23rd 2008 at 06:56 pm 28
My applause on your last paragraph. I agree with you.
Kenley Dec 23rd 2008 at 08:44 pm 29
Plenty of men have misrepresentative photos too — not just women. I think some people do it because they honestly don’t believe they look different. Others do it because they hope that once you meet them and get to know them, you won’t care that they don’t look exactly like their pictures. I also think that some might due it simply because of laziness — they just don’t feel like updating their profiles or their pictures. However, you’d think that in the extremely unforgiving world of online dating people would realize a dishonest strategy is a losing one, but it doesn’t appear that they do.
hunter Dec 23rd 2008 at 09:47 pm 30
Some women don’t call them lies, and they don’t call it misrepresenting. I think the word they use is, “Manipulative”.