You are pretty off the mark about one thing though. About 2 years ago I attended a seminar with some of the other instructors from Love Systems, The Mystery Method and RSD and there was an emphasis on following your passion and purpose.

This is definitely not a new concept. In fact, it is a really old one and dating science has since gotten far more advanced.

it’s a value judgment. Which is what the post I originally replied to also stated.

Having taken many dance classes with my husband, I have to say that there’s nothing sexier (and hence, to me, more masculine) than a man who can dance - and is willing to do so.

In my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary.

(We tango. We also swing, waltz, foxtrot, cha cha, rhumba, and samba. And we’re both under 40….)

And who says I can’t dance? I am trained in belly dance and flamenco.

He he he… Whatever. There are “masculine” dances, like capooera and forms of brakedance… Anyways, if you can’t dance, there are pepole who can…

Cheers.

How true!

I dated this one man for a time who was simply obsessed with tango. Attended all lessons within his proficiency level given by the studio he signed up at, every single day, all concerts/shows he knew about, and such.

He had no ability for it. He had no sense of rhythm and was tone deaf, and actually mentioned that people made fun of him at first. He wanted me eventually to join him in the lessons, but I was afraid seeing him dance would be such a turn-off that I could no longer remain attracted.

As for how much value I give this particular pursuit - I personally think it’s corny and old-fashioned. He himself admitted there was no one in his group under 40. The bigger problem, though, was that he insisted that I develop some all-consuming passion for something. And I happen to pride myself on my innumerable interests in various unrelated fields, and see no reason to become so [what I see as] limited.

So a few comments from him of this nature I let slide until I finally snapped. And I said to him, “Do you think your tango obsession makes you any more appealing to me?? At best, AT BEST, it’s not an obstacle. YET. And if you have to be so passionate about something, I’d rather it were something more masculine than a form of dance.”

..oh, yes, at a certain age, we see all kinds of beautiful rainbows, clowns juggling, etc…I remember those times….,

A few years ago, i met this awesome guy and we clicked like you wouldn’t believe, i mean on all levels. Besides being really hot, he was responsible, kind, funny, understood me, etc etc.

On our second date at the restaurant, he got real passionate about this house he wanted to build, and started scribbling pictures on napkins for me, and whatever else he could find.

My heart sank.

Why? Because his house idea was so “out there”, so ridiculously idealistic, fanciful…based on a total I Ching concept, complete with the octagonal footprint and indoor waterfall falling THREE stories….

I thought, Oh here we go again…I grew up surrounded by ineffectual loser-dreamers, and this guy is talking about this in-the-next-galaxy house like he’s SERIOUS??! We saw each other a couple times after that, and lost contact.

Then one day a couple years later, I was surfing on the web and stumbled over this article about this house, “The Phoenix,” one of the fabulous houses showcased in Cincinnati: Home Builders Association of Northern Kentucky’s annual home show.

There on the screen was an article about Bill’s house. The house I’d thought only made of dreams. There it was in front of me, out of his head, and in physical form, planted in the dirt and baking in the sun somewhere in Cincinnati. And i’d missed it. All of it.

I was stunned. And my admiration and awe shot off the charts. I sat there, amazed, here was a man who had a dream, and he LIVED HIS DREAM. He made it happen!

The implications are enormous.

1) He dreamed this outrageously unusual house.
2) He completed professional drawings and spec drawings and elevations and god knows what else for his presentation portfolio. 3) He approached and won the approval of some lucky financial institution to foot the bill.
4) He managed to get the right building codes to build this unusual house.
5) He convinced a builder to build it for him.
6) He convinced the city to let it happen.
7) And he bid and WON a place in the home show.

This house with the 3-story indoor waterfall.

How many guys do I know who have all those different skills? Have that kind of drive?

That kind of PASSION???

I misjudged this guy. Big time. He went WAY over the top, and …I missed it. I missed the journey…I could have BEEN there, cheering him on, been his friend, laughed with him, cried with him, heard him in his angst when things were maddening–imagine the road he’d been on!–and finally, celebrating with him.

I missed it because i judged a man based on my sad experience with my own family. And I regret it.

There ARE men out there. Men who are amazing. I will not settle.

1. Be excellent
2. Be desireless
3. Be gone.