Comments on: Why Reality Sucks, Fantasy Rules, and My Advice May Make You Upset

By: happygirl

happygirl — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 20:37:02 +0000

Evan,

I just wanted to share with you that you have a really great website. All your advice is straightforward makes a lot of sense,

I read your dating advice on a regular basis and I admit that I really feel that I learned a lot from it. I even referred it to a friend who thanked me for it.
Even though I am over 40… I believe you should always be open to learn and willing to make changes in your life. If that change is your outlook on dating, relationships. Why not!

Thank you

By: Sahaja

Sahaja — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:23:50 +0000

Well here’s another easy to read response - Way to go, Evan! I love your approach - you are clear, concise, and open about what you think - with out being condescending to women or men. I hate the “how to nab him or her” advice columns that do nothing but put down people. They seem to assume that all women and/ or men are doing the same thing, and that none of us are level headed and can listen to advice, and deem to talk like we are nerdy adolescents. We all make mistakes and sometimes need someone else to point them out. Its like how I never realize ive gained or lost weight until i look at pics of myself- an extra lens can add focus.

By: Janice

Janice — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:45:05 +0000

Bravo! Very well said. As Boz Skaggs once sang, “check out your own backyard, before you go checking someone else’s …”

By: Alison

Alison — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:04:43 +0000

Evan,

What you say is SOO true. I have come to the same conclusions and observations from my own personal life, discussions with both men and women, and experiences with online dating (and reading profiles). Many do need to change expectations, face themselves fully (with humor would help), and just take a chance. Learning ones own preferences and communicating them, learning how to read cues from others, and developing better judgement leads to more chance for success. Also just plain luck!

Good luck to all, and Evan keep writing!

Alison

By: Alan

Alan — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 13:32:59 +0000

Paraphrased from a Stephen King short story titled “Quitters, Inc.”:

When a romantic tries and fails, he is praised. When a pragmaticist tries and succeeds, he is scorned.

Keep succeeding.

By: tom pandolfo

tom pandolfo — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:46:08 +0000

Reality can suck, fantasy occasionally rules, but your article makes sense.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:32:09 +0000

You are so right on!! The blame game is just an excuse… and an excuse, is just that…

Keep up the good work! I’ve learned more about men and dating in the last few months reading your blog than I had in the last 10 years of dating men!

Thanks!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 01:17:19 +0000

Thank you for your complete honestly. Dating can be very tough, but being real with oneself about why they are single or not finding luck in love is the bottom line. I feel like you are able to draw this out of people, whether they are willing to accept or not. Tough love is necessary when giving dating advice, since too many want to sugar coat.
I have put a lot of your advice to use. No success yet, but I’m patient. I’ll keep reading on.
Thanks Evan!

By: Erika

Erika — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 22:46:04 +0000

Please tell these readers–especially the ones who keep making the same mistakes over and over again–to get some therapy.

You give great advice for those who are able to hear it. But some of these folks are deep denial about their problems and that’s why they react defensively.

By: sheseizereason

sheseizereason — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 22:13:56 +0000

I actually agree with you 100%, Evan. People like to vent in frustrating situations, myself included. Your advice is some of the best out there.